In my experience, I’ve observed that people are afraid to say IT. We’re afraid to hurt other’s feelings or step on toes. We’re afraid of being perceived as lazy or unkind or unwilling to help or do something for others. We’re afraid of our reputation downgrading or of what others may think of us. Truth be told, it does not matter what other people think of you! What matters is what YOU think of you, and if you think you deserve some “me-time” or alone time, then odds are, you probably do. No! There, I said it. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I can address this issue that has been on my mind for some time now.
Let me explain. Many people, at least, many people that I know, myself included, tend to overcommit themselves. We say yes to everything! So many of us are natural people pleasers that we’re willing to burn out on the behalf of another. It’s misconstrued as selflessness, but in reality, saying yes to everything has the potential to give others power over you. You become passive! Passivity is generally not viewed as a positive trait depending on circumstances and personality types. When you are overly passive, others may take advantage of you simply because they know that you will always say yes to their every little whim. If they need help moving, or need a sitter, or a ride to the airport, or a few dollars or whatever, they come to you! Because you are a “yes woman” (or man) and although you’re probably just trying to be a nice, helpful person, chances are, you are putting aside your own needs; we all have needs. We all need a break sometimes and that’s why I’m encouraging you to learn to say no.
Of course, I’m not suggesting that you need to say no to everything, but pick and choose. If you’re tired from a long day at school or work, REST! If you just need time to unwind and relax from a stressful event or happening, REST. Say no. Don’t allow others to guilt you into doing something for them when it puts your own mental and physiological health at risk. There have been countless times when I simply was not in the mood to hang out with people or drive 20 miles to see someone or do something and I said no. Were my friends disappointed? Sure. But did they understand that I just needed some time to myself to literally chill out and do nothing. Yes! And that is completely okay. We are human; we are not superheroes who can do everything all the time without feeling fatigued or drained. We need rest, even the bible says to do so.
Stop over committing yourself to the point of exhaustion. No one deserves to feel drained of energy; everyone deserves a time of recharging. For some, that may be an hour, others may require weeks or months to just take care of themselves. Perhaps after recharging and relaxing you can begin committing to things again, volunteering your time and saying yes. But don’t allow yourself to burn out trying to do the impossible! Take care of yourself, beautiful people!