Ever have those days where you just do not feel like you're “on fleek"? As much as I try to promote positivity and self love and confidence, I still have days when I feel the exact opposite. I’m not perfect, obviously, no one is, and we all have days where we don’t feel as great as we should. But there are things you can do to help yourself so you’re not wallowing in your own misery and pity and I wanted to share three of them!
1) Take Selfies
Okay, so I know what you’re thinking. “How shallow and millennial-like of you to list this as your first thing, Gigi!” Let me explain myself! I had a horrible day recently. Like, terrible. I was crying a lot and really could not pull myself together. My hair was a hot mess, I refused to get out of my pajamas and my eyes were puffy and red. I couldn’t allow myself to continue feeling and looking the way I did. Although I had no plans of going out or seeing anyone, for my own sake, I wanted to feel better about myself. So I took a shower, washed my hair, put on some makeup that made me feel pretty and decided to take a bunch of selfies. I had my own little photo shoot right in my dining room and honestly, I must say, they are some of the nicest pictures I’ve taken of myself. After physically getting myself together, I ended up feeling much better psychologically. This may not be an ideal solution for everyone, but sometimes, getting dolled up just for YOU can change your perceptions and attitudes about yourself, even if only for some selfies.
2) Pamper Yourself
Anyone who knows me well knows that I love to pamper myself! I think I mentioned this in an earlier blog, but I believe self-care is extremely important. Self care can be anything from yoga or meditation to eating healthily (or indulging), to taking solo trips, to shopping! My friends know I am a huge fan of the latter. Sometimes just purchasing a special pair of shoes or a really pretty dress can turn my day around and make me feel like the queen that I am. Another frequent way that I help myself feel good about myself is getting my nails done, but self care doesn’t always equal spending money. Sometimes just putting on your favorite outfit or baking something for yourself can be fulfilling. Pampering yourself, in my opinion, is just another way of loving yourself! Treat yourself!
3) Do What You Love
Feeling good about yourself isn’t only feeling good about how you look, although for some, that is a huge part of it. Feeling good inside can also permeate on the outside. Doing what you love to do can be a great reminder of my talents and a reminder of the reasons that you were placed on the Earth. Personally, I love to sing, and it is one of the few things that I can confidently say I’m good at doing. A friend of mine once suggested that whenever I’m feeling down or anxious that I should sing because I love singing! Recently on my sadder days, I’ve turned on some YouTube karaoke and sung my heart out of its funk. Other times, I’ve taken out my paints and brushes and created a piece of artwork or I’ve danced around my room with my music blasting. Whatever it is that you love doing, do it! Whether its something that gets your blood pumping or something that helps you unwind and relax, if its healthy and makes you feel good about yourself, I encourage you to try doing it when you’re having an off day.
Take care of yourselves, readers! You are valuable and worthy of love from others, but most importantly, from yourself!
Do, re, mi! Sounds like music to my ears…literally! Think back to your first memories of music. Was someone playing you something or singing to you? Or were you the one creating music? My first memories of music involve my parents (professional singers) singing around the house, both to me and with me. Music has been part of my soul and spirit for as long as I can remember, and its influences have been quite strong. It’s basically my life (or at least a large part of it).
Music is said to be the universal language of the Earth. In every culture, psychologists have found variations of music and rhythm to be present. It is inescapable. Lyrics and melodies flow through the minds of children and adults alike, and our access to music has only increased over time and decades. I have yet to meet someone who doesn't enjoy at least one genre of music. That being said, music has the power to create, maintain and alter emotions. Think of your favorite song. Got it? Ok, now how does that song make you feel? Did you say “happy”? Then you’re not alone! Most music that we prefer to listen to makes us feel happy. We feel so good when that beat drops or when that singer hits that high note we always try to imitate or when the guitarist plays that sick riff. But what about when music makes us feel sad?
When I was in college, I had a playlist specifically for when I was feeling sad. It consisted of slow songs that ultimately would just escalate my sadness and send me into an emotional frenzy. This could be debated as unhealthy behavior, but in the moment, when I just needed to feel, I turned to music. Whether it’s the lyrical content or the patterns of notes and tones, music has the innate ability to draw strong emotions out of its listeners. Story-telling intertwined with the melodic structure of a song can create beautiful works of art that can bring out the saddest of feelings. The song “Christmas Shoes” comes to mind when I think of sad songs. It’s about a little boy who wants to buy shoes for his dying mother so that she can be beautiful when she meets Jesus. How depressing! Every Christmas, the radio stations insist on playing this sad song, and every time I hear that piano intro, I immediately change the station!
Obviously not all music is sad. Music is generally thought to be a form of self-expression and entertainment. Music has the power to make one feel loved, sexy, and confident, too! I know of a lot of girls that have a “going-out” playlist that usually consists of upbeat, perhaps empowering songs that employ one to feel like they’re ready to take on the world. Many times the lyrics of songs can make someone feel like they are on top of the world and that they are sizzling hot! One of my favorite genres is (90’s) R&B for its slow and smooth beats, as well as the passion and love written into the lyrics. Hearing someone sing to you about how beautiful and desired you are can be a pick-me-up for sure, and a lot of the R&B that I listen to does just that! So thank you Brian McKnight and Jodeci for helping a girl out!
Music is so many people’s way of escaping reality; it allows one to close their ears to society and open their hearts and minds to delight in aural enchantment and pleasure. Yes, I just made that up. Music produces a variety of emotions, sometimes all within one song, and because of its natural existence, it will probably withstand the test of time. Go listen to something!
We all have something that we've been meaning to start, write, create, produce or do. That dream or goal that you've had for a long time but just aren't doing. Stop it! Making excuses as to why you can't or why you aren't is not gonna cut it anymore! You have everything you need to START. I know, getting started can be the hardest part because if we're honest, pursing a dream is a risk! It can be scary to step out and try!
But what if I told you that it's not what you don't have, but what you do have that's holding you back?
You know, that friend that shows up right around the time you decide to go for it. She shows up when it's time to work on your business plan or write your first draft of the book. This is the friend that loves you just the way you are and wants you to stay right where you are forever. This is the friend that calls right when you need someone to talk you out of your enormous ideas.
You reach for her when the thought of success makes you feel uncomfortable.
She's there to remind you why you couldn't last time, just in case you forgot. And because she’s such a pal that she's also there to remind you of what others might say should you decide to go for it. She lives super close and you take her with us wherever you go.
Her name is Fear.
There are some friends that we have in our lives that are in our lives for a time period and for whatever reason we grow apart. There are other friends that you connect for a while until you realize they're not adding a thing to your life! So you go ahead and distance yourself.
But then there are some friends…
Who you've know FOREVER and they've been with you through thick and thin, always present and you don't remember a moment or time period in your life without them. But there comes a time sometimes where we have to acknowledge when we've outgrown some of our oldest friends.
Everyone has some sort of relationship with fear. It's either healthy or unhealthy. A healthy relationship with fear doesn't prevent you from moving forward or alter your thought patterns. An unhealthy relationship with fear paralyzes you. This is when fear controls the decisions you make. It affects your perception of your reality.
No one wants that.
And you don't have to have that! Here are four easy to remember steps to unfriending fear once and for all.
1. Forget your mistakes – Just like we all have fear sometimes, we all make mistakes sometimes! And believe it or not, some of our fear comes from reminding ourselves of the mistakes we've made. You remind yourself how things went horribly wrong the last time and how you hated the way you felt, so the fear of a repeat kicks in. There's a saying that says “you live and you learn.” It's true! Don’t let the mistakes that you've made in the past prevent you from moving forward! Make the mistake in to a lesson and keep on going!
2. Evaluate your NOW – Believe it or not you have come a long way! The last time you were afraid to go, do, or say whatever it was, you found a way to overcome! In the life of a confident girl, moments of fear is temporary. Look at where you are and realize that it took courage to get you there! That should encourage you to keep it up because you are your own proof that you can do it!
3. Accept your awesome – Unfriending Fear requires you ditching fear and replacing her with someone else. YOU! Have you checked you out lately!? You Rock! Once you really believe in yourself and how awesome you are, you won't have to be afraid of being yourself. Accept who you are, and embrace what makes you different, and fear can't stop you!
4. Reach forward – Always remind yourself of your awesome future. Be positive and always looking for ways to improve or get better at what you're good at. Focusing on building your skills and talents will allow you to be more confident when you're doing your thing! Keep your eyes on the prize because focus puts fear in the run.
Remember these steps to Unfriending fear and propel your life in to the fierce, free and fabulous life you were meant to have! As always, don't forget your confidence!
Here's to you being you,