"If only I were in a relationship, then everything would be perfect!”
“I’d be so happy if I had someone to share my life with!”
Sound familiar? If it doesn’t, good for you! But if it does, then you’re not alone! So many of us single folks have this mentality that the source of any of our unhappiness is because we don’t have a partner. We see all of our friends in relationships, getting engaged, getting married and we just have to watch their happiness blossom in front of our eyes. Perhaps you envy your friends who have already found “the one” or at least the person that they think is the one. Or maybe you’re always the third wheel and just wish that you could have someone to double date with! Maybe you’re feeling rejected because your friend is spending the majority of their time with their significant other, creating memories, traveling together, doing things with them that they used to do with you! But if you got into a relationship, everything would just solve itself! You’d get to be happy too, right? Not quite.
While a partner may bring you laughter and fond memories, true happiness comes from within. If you’re not happy while single, you won't be happy in a relationship. It’s been said time and time again, but so many people choose to ignore that saying and base their level of personal happiness off of another individual. It’s understandable, though! You see your friends taking selfies with their S.O. (significant other), going on vacations, celebrating anniversaries and holidays together and they look so happy, don’t they? Sure! They’ve found someone with whom they can share special time and memories. But there’s also a good chance that they possessed an internal joy before getting into this relationship and its only radiating more now that they have a partner.
So the next time you’re lamenting over how things would be “so much better” and you’d be “way happier” in a relationship, stop and think. Am I happy right now while single? Can I find joy and pleasure in everyday life as a single person? If you can’t confidently answer yes to those questions or any variation of them, take some time to do some inner self-reflection. Take some time to pray! Ask God for true, permanent joy. Once you are able to find happiness or joy as a single, individual person, a relationship (when you do get into one) will be the icing on the cake! And cake is delicious!