The Biggest Loser!
No, I am not talking about weight loss. That is the last thing I need to lose. If you have been following me or the Wear Your Confidence page you will know that we have started The Accepted Reject Campaign.
The Accepted Reject Campaign (AR)! An online community where girls AND women can come together and heal from past hurts AKA rejection! We started January 1st and I have been posting videos every Monday on different topics to help you and the world overcome this ugly thing called rejection. If you didn’t know, rejection is like the devil. It comes to steal, kill and destroy your joy, peace and self-esteem. The reason why it has the power to do this is because WE (yes, I include myself), WE have allowed it. (OUCH!) Deep down we have a teenie tiny lack of self-esteem. Think about it. Keep it 100, keep it a bean! If we truly believed that we were good enough then the opinion of others would not matter. We would allow the rejection to roll off of our shoulders and keep it moving. The rejection would not hurt AS MUCH. It would not have a diabolical effect on us.
I had to face that harsh reality. I got offended with myself! How could I, Cherise, Ms. Confidence herself have an issue with self-esteem? (HA!) I am not immune to any of this stuff. I don’t know who I thought I was. The truth of the matter is I feel the “attack” more because I am the “face” of Wear Your Confidence. When I tell you the struggle is real…IT IS WAY REAL!
I hear you asking, “What do you mean by attack?” What I mean is my self-esteem and confidence have been tested in a great way. Since the start of the campaign I have been filled with so much doubt and questions and uncertainty. It’s crazy! ON TOP OF THAT a butt load of rejection, a gazillion no’s and a crap load of watching from the sidelines. I can only speak for myself but when I’m having a low day it would seem that everyone around me was SUPER HAPPY, GETTING STUPID BLESSINGS and I’m over here like a turd in a toilet that someone forgot to flush (please excuse all of my poop references, but I hope you get where I am coming from).
It was in those times that I had two choices! I could either stay in my pitty party, stay depressed, look at myself in the mirror as I cried (like you have never done that!), just quit and hate my life OR I could remember who the heck I was, wipe my tears and remember what I stand for and what it is that I teach! I had to speak life! Sometimes I had to speak through the tears but nonetheless I was speaking. I am a child of a King! You’re a child of the KING! Nothing in life is perfect. Life is messy. Are you going to play ball or are you going to shrivel up in a ball and hide?
Let me be 100% honest and transparent. During those rock bottom times the last thing I want to do is talk, text, pray, or smile. If I want to talk I want to cuss and punch people in the face. I want to stay in bed and cry and complain. That’s what I want to do. That is what I am inclined to do. Over the years, I have gotten waaaay better. The cussing is down to a minimum and it’s not to anyone’s face (NEVER HAS BEEN, I’M NOT A REAL G. PRAY FOR ME). The pity parties are timed. I learned that from my mentor. No longer than 20 minutes! It is ok to cry! (I also learned that from her). But then you have to dust yourself off and get back to work.
Perception is everything! When you are low/in your bag/feeling like poop on a stick, it SEEMS like everyone is doing big things but they really aren’t (SIKE). Some people are doing great things, but you have to keep in mind what YOU really seeing. ESPECIALLY on social media! We only see the highlight reel. You don’t know what a person is dealing with. You don’t know what battles they are facing in real life. They could appear to be happy but they take pills to go to sleep, they could suffer from an illness, a dysfunctional home, they could even be severely depressed.
LIFE IS REAL and SO ARE THE STRUGGLES!
That is the reason why I created The Accepted Reject Campaign! I knew that I wasn’t the only one who had been rejected, hurt and struggling with self-esteem and confidence issues. I knew I wasn’t the only one that has asked themselves, “What is wrong with me?”
I OVERCAME and I AM OVERCOMING!
There are days when you and I will get down and discouraged but we have to make up in our mind to NOT stay down. We have to speak life and kick rejection in the face! How do we do this? By knowing who you are and how valuable you are to your life and the life of others. Do you know how much you’re worth? Let me tell you girl! You are worth more than all the money in the world and more precious than any rare ruby, or diamond. That is a lot! Don’t you ever forget that!
With all of that being said I really hope that you would join The Accepted Reject Campaign! You are not too old or too young to join. Simply subscribe to the YouTube channel and turn on the notifications. Like the Wear Your Confidence page on Facebook and turn on those notifications as well. (WE LIVE BABY!)
I’d love to hear from you as well! We are in this together! You are not alone and with my help and God’s, you are going to overcome rejection!
Don’t Forget Your Confidence
Hey Parents and Guardians!
You did it! You survived the summer and now it’s time to send the kiddies off to school. Whether you are wiping away tears of sadness or tears of joy this is a very important and pivotal time in your young persons life! It was bound to happen! If you are feeling down, don’t fret. They will be home soon and then you get to repeat this process all over again!
Like many parents you want the best for your child. You want them to have a successful school year full of good times, good grades and good memories, right? Of course you do! I have a question for you: How confident are you in your child’s confidence in themselves? Was that a confusing question? How about this? Exactly how confident are you in knowing that your child can withstand the pressures that come with going to school?
Did you know that your teen’s self-esteem and confidence are very important? Believe it or not girls as young as 12 are having issues with their image and believing in themselves. How do I know? I speak with them daily and I am as shocked as you are to hear that they think they are ugly and they want to lose weight! When I did the research I found that:
*OVER 70% of girl’s between15-17 avoid everyday activities such as going to school when they feel bad about their looks.
*75% of girls with low self-esteem have reported in engaging in negative activities such as smoking, cutting, bullying, disordered eating and drinking.
*When it comes to high school students, 44% of girls are attempting to lose weight (and 15% of guys).
*Teenage girls with negative views of themselves are 4 times more likely to take part in activities with boys that they’ve ended up regretting later.
*7 in 10 girls don’t believe they measure up or are good in some way when it comes to their looks, performance in school, relationships with friends and family.
Are you as shocked as I was when reading these statistics? So again, how well do you know that your child can withstand the pressure that comes with going to school and everyday life? If you are hesitant about their self-esteem or confidence you need to get in contact with me. As the CEO and Founder of WearYourConfidence.com I have made it my mission to help boost the confidence and self-esteem of girl’s and women worldwide! I know what it’s like to feel inadequate and feeling that I had no one to talk to. Your girls need someone to help and assist them through this pivotal time in their lives. They need a Confidence Coach! That is where I come in! I know you love your girls! I know you don’t want to see them become another victim of bullying, low-self-esteem, and a life of making bad decisions. You don’t want that and neither do I! Allow me to help your girls!
ENROLL IN CONFIDENCE COACHING TODAY!
During these Coaching sessions your girls will:
These sessions include a FREE copy of my latest book, Boost Your Confidence With Compliments: 50 Compliments Every Girl Should Give Herself!
Don’t wait! Your girl’s need this!
CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR SESSION!
or email: firstname.lastname@example.org
YouTube Channel: www.YouTube.com/WYCTV1
*Stats taken from: https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-teens-and-self-esteem
What do you do when you are your bff have a crush on the same guy? Do you let it be or do you fight for his attention? Well Gigi and I have a crush on the same person and I can guarantee she will not get the heart of my boo! Watch and see what happens! Subscribe to the WYC YouTube channel too!
That's right! You read correctly! TV for HO's! If you have been following my blogs you might be wondering if I have some kind of secret. I have posted a vlog entitled It's OK To Be A Hoe and now I have this post. Let me clear the air: I am neither a HO or a HOE, but Santa Claus says "HO, HO, HO!"... SMH! Wow, that was really corny, even for me! ANYWHOO! HO-TV is NOT what you think. H.O.T.V stands for Highly Opinionated Television! This OCTOBER! OCTOBER 20th to be exact Gigi and I will be hosting and co-hosting a new web series! As girls, we have a ton to say and it is time for us to be heard! We are the voices that are not afraid to say it and mean it! We talk about sports, sex, confidence, boys, dating, "friends" who steal our crushes and sooo much more! We promise that you will laugh, think, be heard and be encouraged!
We won't be silenced! We won't be stopped and NEITHER SHOULD YOU! Subscribe to our YouTube channel and put a reminder in your phones for OCTOBER 20th! IT'S GOING DOWN FOR REAAAAAALLLL!
"I want to fit in!" We have all said it, thought it or felt that way at some point in our lives! Am I right or am I right!? Where are my honest people? People who can say that at one point of their lives they wanted to be popular, fit in or be with the cool kids? Well I have found myself in that very type of situation and for some reason it's not all that it's cracked up to be... NO SHADE AT ALL. The thing is, I know my lane and I will choose to stay in it. Did you know that you're not meant to fit in with everyone and with everything? Your differences bring spice and flavor to this world!
Let me ask you another question: Have you ever found yourself around musically inclined people and for some reason you wish that you could be down? Well! If that's not you, could you just pretend? You see, Gigi and Brittnee are both SANGERS (aka really good singers), and I hold a note every now and then, and I wanted to harmonize with them for the longest time. They finally let me into their "singing circle" and I was excited! I sound good by myself, but when we joined forced it was pretty dope! (At least I think so)
Take a look.
"Don't Forget Your Confidence."
Have you ever had one of those crazy sex talks with your parents? You know the one...They sit you down and try to teach you about sex or as they call it: THE BIRDS AND THE BEES!...AWKWARD! Never fear! Cherise is here! Grab a seat and have the sex talk with ME! It won't be awkward! PINKY SWEAR!
Don't Forget Your Confidence
How you doin’ world? I don’t know if you know, BUT June 22nd was my BIRTHDAY! :insert dance break here: I had such an amazing, life changing day! If you follow my modeling page on Facebook (Cherise Styles) You would have known that I was on the Wendy Williams Show!!!…Talk about an amazing birthday gift! God gives thee best gifts every.
You are probably wondering how in the world did I land this gig. Well let me tell you something, it really had nothing to do with me and everything to do with God’s favor. You see, I went to the Wendy Williams Show last week, just because I wanted to go. While I was there everyone was given a sheet of paper with the opportunity to ask Wendy a question for a segment called Ask Wendy, where people seek Wendy’s advice on relationships, boyfriends, life etc. (Watch it here) So, I put my question on the paper, low and behold, my question was chosen. I was able to ask Wendy my question on live TV.
REWIND! I sat in the waiting area excited with my sister and the rest of the studio audience for the show to start. Next, someone came up to my sister and I asked if we were interested in doing a makeover show. Of course we said, yes. We gave our info and to make a long story short, I got a call back that same day, from the producer, asking if I would come back on June 22nd, MY BDAY, to be a model for the show!!!
TALK ABOUT AMAZING! Fast forward to my bday, I had such an amazing time! I felt like a real celebrity. I got to meet Mally Roncal, celebrity makeup artist, and her amazing team member, Teenie. Two other models, along with myself were given a greenroom that was just fantastic! We were provided with fruit, pastries, drinks (non-alocohlic) and tea. Everyone on the staff was great! Wendy was great and funny! I had such a fantabulous time! I took so many selfies, it was ridiculous. It still hasn’t registered to me that I was on national television. Lol!
I am telling you all this because some of you want to know, but most importantly to brag on how great Jesus is! He has my life and my steps ordered. I am so excited about my life and my future. I am confident through Christ! I know that all things are working for MY GOOD... and your good too!
Keep on going and don’t quit! Quitting is not in our DNA!
Don’t Forget Your Confidence
To see the video click here. To see the pics, click here.
Here are some photos that are NOT on the Facebook page... You get special pics because I love you. XOXO
Have you ever had an issue with your weight? If you're a girl, chances are you have had a conversation about weight or you have been the topic of weighing too much or not enough. To be honest, this whole issue of weight and image and comparing my weight to your weight is completely absurd!
I saw this image (to the left) floating around Facebook last week and it really spoke to me. You see, we all come in different shapes and sizes and we all could weigh the same BUT we all carry it differently! Our height makes all the difference!I remember talking with a girl who was 5'5 and weighed 120lbs, she looked great! She wasn’t really skinny and she had a nice shape. At the time, I was 5'8 and weighed the same as she did but I was lanky and had NO CURVES. I thought to myself: "What the heck am I doing wrong?!" SMH! I was comparing her body and weight to my body and weight, all the while failing to realize that I was tearing down my confidence and self-esteem.
Thank God I gave learned from my mistakes. Currently, I am 5'10 AND 3/4 and I weigh 137 pounds! (I know right?) I don’t have to deal with me comparing myself to others. I now face ignorant people who come up to me and ask, "How much do you weigh… 98 pounds?" I constantly have people telling me I need to eat more because I "look" like I could use the extra weight. I had a lady say to me, "You are so skinny, do you eat?" In the same breath she asks me, "What do you eat?" (I couldn't make this up if I tried).
Body weight and body image will always be an issue to others, but you do not have to let become YOUR ISSUE as well. People will always have something to say about YOUR WEIGHT, how much YOU WEIGH and you don’t LOOK like you WEIGH that much! The thing you have to keep in mind is that IT'S YOUR WEIGHT and not anyone else's! It's no ones business how much you weigh and quite frankly those who are insecure about THEIR weight WILL ALWAYS talk about YOUR weight in a condescending way. "No thank you, I don't NEED a burger, but I sure will take one!" We have to raise our confidence levels by putting fuel in our "confidence tank"! We have to learn to give ourselves compliments! You can learn how by ordering my book, BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE WITH COMPLIMENTS (Cheap plug)! Remind yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made! You were not born to fit "the mold"! That mold doesn't even exist! You were born to be you! So stand out and make noise! Remind yourself that your body weight DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE! God defines who you are and you are sealed with a stamp of approval from the creator of the entire universe!
Just like our body comes in different shapes and sizes, so does our confidence! The shortest girl in the world could have the same amount of confidence as the tallest girl in the world! Just because someone is overweight or underweight don't automatically assume that they are not confident with who they are. Don't be like the LADIES who tell me I need to eat...I'M GOOD!
Let's pull up a seat at the table and eat together...and forget how much we weigh!
"Don't Forget Your Confidence"
How does this image make you feel? LET'S CHAT!
Imagine you are an older sister/brother and your parents tell you that they are going to have a baby! Nine months pass by and all of a sudden this creature arrives and you are not only mad but you don't see what the hype is all about! This baby is wrinkly and cries all the time!
Can you picture it? Are you feeling the emotions of disgust and anger at this new bundle of joy that going to take all of your attention? Well guess what? We at WYC have a new arrival too! Are you ready? You have a new writer! However, we feel the complete opposite about her! She is fun, full of energy, has a great personality AND, SHE IS NOT A BABY! We are super excited and we can't wait for her to take the spotlight and shine bright like a diamond! :-)
:drum roll please: Her name is Gianya aka Gigi! She is a the newest writer for WYC! WOOP! WOOP! She doesn't cry, she sings!
Check out her writing skills! I know you will love this article! Also, stay tuned for more on Gigi as well as other members of WYC!
The Rockstar in You- Gigi Breland
When you wake in the morning and examine yourself in the mirror, does that little voice in your head (the one you’re using to read this) sound more positive or negative? If you’re like most females, that voice is probably feeding you all types of horrible thoughts and feelings about you and your body. Maybe you don’t like your curves, or your lack of curves. Maybe you don’t like the texture of your hair, or the smoothness of your skin. Maybe that voice is telling you that you’re not good enough, or you're not worthy of someone else’s affection or love. Well guess what? That voice is the sound of hundreds of years of society telling women that they aren’t good enough, or thin enough, or curvy enough, or pretty enough. That voice has no place in your head or in your heart, and I think it’s time we shut it down.
I spent way too many years standing in front of mirrors nit-picking and looking for reasons to dislike the person that I saw staring back at me. I could’ve probably found some form of criticism on every part of my body from the crown of my frizzy-haired head to the soles of my eczema-covered feet, but what good was that doing for me? What success and happiness was I getting from destroying myself and my confidence? None. Not an ounce of joy. My low self-esteem in my physical being began to affect my mental, spiritual and emotional health to the point where I hated almost everything about myself. If you’re anything like I was, you may relate to these feelings of inadequacy. Perhaps you’ve cried over some aspect of yourself that isn’t up to your own, possibly unrealistic, standards, or maybe you pray every night that you’ll change. I had to start praying that I could see myself the way that God saw me, and it worked!
You’re a rockstar! You’re an individual who possesses unique talents and abilities and there’s no one else in the world like you who can do the amazing things that you can do the way that you do them. Although everyone says it and almost no one believes it, you really are special! Society wants you to believe that there is a specific type of person/body that is “perfect”, but that is a myth! No one is perfect, but everyone is beautiful, including YOU! When you are able to quiet that negative voice in your head that tells you that you are anything less than beautiful, and focus on the wonderful and positive things that make you the gorgeous, fierce girl that you are, you can embrace your inner rockstar and help others embrace theirs, too!
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Wasn't that awesome?
The other day I was scrolling through Facebook and IG and I noticed several people posting different things (DUH, isn’t that what IG is for?). Some fitness, some inspirational, some hair and some posts on style and fashion. And I started to feel some type of way. Let’s be real, I started to get discouraged. I realized that everyone is doing the same thing! As I was scrolling I noticed that some of the people on IG have thousands and hundred of thousands of followers, some had millions. All of a sudden …Not gonna lie, I started to compare myself to them and their numbers. Um, like hello! I’m doing cool things too! I’m doing what I’m passionate about! I love God, modeling, encouraging young girls and women, clothes and all of that good stuff.
As soon as I started to compare myself, I suddenly had to stop and remember that confident girls don’t compare themselves to others! I had to check myself! I actually stopped to do a google search to find out how many people are in the world. There are over 7 billion people in the entire world! This world is big! I realized something that I had to share with you! Here it is: Even though you are only one person you can make a huge impact on people! Impact one person in a great way and watch the ripple effect that you will have! They will tell another person and that person will tell another person.
Run your race, stay in your lane and do what God has told you to do. Yes, there are millions of people doing what you want to do, but no one has your exact personality, your looks, your style or your flavor!
I can’t compare myself to Heather Lindsey, Kimberly Pothier, or Chanel Iman! I have to do what I am supposed to do, the way that I was called to do it! There are millions of people who are waiting for you and I to not get distracted and stop but WE must remember to keep on going! The world waiting for an original! They are waiting for you!
So what are you waiting for?
*Don’t Forget Your Confidence
Closet Full of Confidence- Blog
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